Post Traumatic Ultra Disorder
I am now thinking that if I had confirmed how long I had at the check point before the cut off, perhaps I could have sorted myself out and continued. If I could put on 2KG of coke that would surely have to have helped. Perhaps if I had entered the CP with the attitude of not pulling but taking a break my mindset might have been better... I could have eaten a mountain of watermelon and then drank some water, got some gels in and maybe it would have been enough to get me up and moving again... Did I pull the pin too early? I know at the moment that I arrived at CP2 I could not have gone on but what about an hour later? By the time the CP closed and I got a lift to Yarramalong I was feeling better... Enough to run hard and up technical trail and hill? Maybe, maybe not.
I think that the rain and wind and cold would have suited me later in the race had I been able to continue. I love that sort of weather for running. I am disappointed and its hard to get over the fact that I pulled out on such an amazing opportunity. Surely those runners that finished also had bad spells and can I be so arrogant to say mine was worse than all of theirs and therefore I was justified in dropping?
I am now looking for another race to enter. I wish there was an Ultra next weekend... Anyway a friend is running the Coast 2 Kosci in a months time and I will see if I can't help him complete that. Perhaps something I have picked up here will help. Certainly pacing and nutrition are key.
As a final thought, even though I lost some weight, I wonder if it was dehydration or just the plan old lack of calories bonk? I think the 'bonk' because I was not overly sick. That means it was the same mistake that I made in Glenbrook. When it gets hot its hard to eat the calories... And that is what leads to the disaster, not the fluids. I drank 3 litres and must have been hydrated reasonably well. So the final lesson is getting those calories in regardless. Without the energy you can't run, but when it gets hot its hard to eat.
Symptoms of Post Traumatic Ultra Disorder - the desire to rationalise your defeat into a failure. The desire to race again very soon. The belief that given another chance right away in the same conditions things would be different. The sense of wasted training, time, effort and planning. The wish to start running and training even harder for the next one.
The final point to remember is that there are not really any Ultra Runners who have not had DNF beside their name at some point in time and although it is hard to believe a DNF will help in the future if you take the lessons and remember them it will. I don't know how it will with this one, but when I get that perfect race and run it, and when I am basking in the glories of an Ultra victory, then I will have to put some of that down to the GNW100 2013 - the ugly beast that knocked me on the head this year.
There - therapy for today over. Feeling better already.
Monday 11 November 2013
Sunday 10 November 2013
A Tiger by the Tail...
That's what I had on Saturday morning, I grabbed a tiger by the tail and didn't realise until it turned around and beat me up a bit. By then it was too late and all the plans and hours of training and time spent organising and sorting things was gone. all done and dusted in a little over 10 hours. I wish I could have another go right away. And get right the things I got wrong on the day.
My feed bottle got clogged at the start with perpetuem mix, in the past this has happened but the shaking of the running clears it up and mixes it all. This time it didn't and I had to stop before we really got out of Teralba and fix it. I met Andy Hewat and Bill Johnson here, both veterans, Andy has raced the GNW100 8 times for 8 finishes! Bill is a character, he has run 26 100 Milers, he has been known to carry a stove and cook himself up a feed on the way! Although I don't normally run with someone I thought in this case I would make good sense and they were both running slow enough for me, walking quite a bit at the back of the race. Perfect and a good pace to start on.
The race is tough and there are steep climbs right after crossing the highway. The weather was overcast but surprisingly muggy. We walked jogged and things were good. I felt good, I decided it was fate that had put the perp. in my bottle and slowed me to meet up with the most prolific finishers in the game. What could go wrong from here. I wondered why Andy didn't have a crowd of smart runners following him and piggy backing off his experience. Bill dropped back a bit but Andy and I ran on and chatted. My maps were all good, Andy knew the course well but I followed it on the maps and the markings and points I had set all worked out, turns right places, distances, so I knew it would be accurate and trustworthy come the night. I felt comfortable that I could rely on them.
The cloud cleared and we headed into a section called the jungle. Very technical, roots, rocks and streams and gulley's. Andy was using poles and he moved surprisingly quickly, I kept up, and here, looking back, I should have slowed. We went through the jungle, passing a lot of people, made up a lot of time. I finally let Andy go on a hill called 'Hugging Post Hill' there is a sort of fence rail halfway up and it did get a lot of hugs from knackered runners.
The weather cleared further and it was now hot. Not sure of the time but most likely around 11am. Made it into CP 1 and still felt good. Saw Andy leaving as I entered. Drank my coke, and sorted my gear, dropped a map off and picked up a couple from the drop bag, all planned and organised. Fresh bottle of perp. put extra water as I had heard how bad this leg could get, . Was off pretty quick. Heard one guy moaning about pulling out now and how there was no point going on to the next CP. The negative energy was almost palpable so I was glad to be moving again.
Met a guy at a turn who had stopped. He said he was going to go back to CP1 I said he should just go to CP2 and see how he feels then. I should have let him go back as CP 1 was only about 5K. Anyway I was now hot. I had got my buff out at CP1 and wetted that and it was working well cooling me. The wind was hot too, gusty and dry. I took it easy. Bill passed me. I Cut back on the food as I figured in the heat the calories wouldn't get absorbed and I would get upset stomach. I counted back and realised I had not eaten too much at all. Drank two bottles of perp. which is about 4 hours of fuel, had a bar which was heavy and not too pleasant and had a Pocket Fuel which was also not very nice. I decided that when I got to CP2 I would have to make a fresh start and get organised.
I was now walking and really feeling the heat. The trail is not hard here, mostly forest road along a high ridge with a few up and down bits. It is deceptively easy. People started picking me off but that was OK I knew I needed to keep it slow. I had 45 mins in hand from last CP. I was now drinking a lot, taking gulps on the tube until the hot water from the tube runs out and you get cold mouthfuls from the bladder. I used some to wet my buff again. Whenever the breeze blew I took my hat off and tried to get a bit of cooler air onto my head, but it was all hot.
Passed a guy cramping up and had nothing to offer him, further up one of the girls running helped a guy out with a stop cramp spray. The got ahead of me but later I passed them sitting on a log. Coming down into Congewai Valley I actually started to feel good. Got a run on and enjoyed the decent on soft grassy trails through fields with puzzled looking cows on. I passed a sign that said water 150m, thought about going there but it was too far. A guy sitting on the grass below the sign said it wasn't far to CP2 now. I had nothing to help him with his cramps either...
The trail comes out on Congewai Road. It is dusty undulating and horrible. It should only be 5 K, but it goes on for ever. The heat doubles or triples and my water runs out. I drink the last of my hot coffee perp. My cool neck buff has dried out, the wind dries my throat. I try chewing some lollies and they just stick so I spit them out. I'm walking and I'm slow, but no one passes me anymore and no one ahead gets any closer. Each hill see's the road stretching away, specks of other runners let me know exactly how far it is just to reach where they are, a corner brings the same, and the same, and the heat hammers. This is what everyone mentioned, what they all talk about, the furnace at Congewai. I knew it was coming but I didn't know it would be like this... I pass a guy who has taken his pack off and slung it over one shoulder. He is sick and chucking. I tell him I'll let them know he is here at CP2, another runner is sitting in the shade under a tree playing with his phone. He says he's right. I wave politely at the support cars that run up and down the road and send clouds of dust over me.
The headwind gusts - it feels like putting your face in front of a hairdryer and breathing it in. I stop and put my hands on my knees and look at the dust in front of my feet. The flies force me to start moving again. I want CP 2 to arrive but it won't, I can't figure out how far it should be as I have already clocked 5K on my watch. There is a turn around where runners from CP2 are heading out passed us and off onto another trail. Not far they say, couple of K's how can it be a couple? I see Andy and he is eating a tin of creamed rice. I don't know what I say but he knows I'm not in real good shape. I'll take stock if I ever see CP2.
CP 2. They weigh me here and then I go and sit down, feeing sick. I get cold coke and it is beautiful, I drink more and more. Drink the warm coke out of my drop bag and the red bull and more coke. There are people collapsed everywhere, one of the gun runners is back after getting a lift from halfway to CP 3, he shot. The CP captain says I have lost 4KG and am borderline with regards to the percentage of bodyweight I have lost (I think it is 5% or over and they pull you out, later I heard that so many runners were coming in with weight lost that 4kg was about the norm, some lost up to 7kg!). He asks how I feel and I'm not real good. Anyway to cut a long story short. I pull out here. After weighing myself before I leave the CP I have already put back 2KG in coke!
I know I would have only continued to deteriorate if I had continued... But a couple of hours after I am already wondering and thinking if I could have gone on, did I pull too soon? No I think not. I was barely able to stand when I arrived, and I have to hang onto that as otherwise I will convince myself it wasn't too bad and in time I will see this as a failure. I was not well enough to continue at that point in time. Simple and that is it.
I slept the night at Patonga at the finish. Freezing cold and windy and wet. Everything I was praying for earlier and didn't get I now got. And where I had been frying I was now freezing! I wore everything I had two Sloppy-Joe's, two jackets from the finish bag, waterproof pants, socks, shoes. I decided this was my punishment for pulling the pin.
The day arrived and CP crew set everything up (A quick note that the staff and crew from the race were all fantastic, any runner who has done an ultra knows what I mean. They do so much it is hard to put it all into words to thank them.) Around about 7 am the winner, Greg Markey, arrived. There were only a handful of us there, but they rang the bell as he was sighted and his wife and daughter who had been supporting him through the night of rain ad wind ran with him on the beach. He kissed the post and everyone had a tear in their eye. It almost made up for dropping - its not often you get to see the winner of a 100 mile monster arrive! Its not often I am at the pointy end of a race (not ever!)He was in amazingly good shape, fresh, lucid and very obviously happy.
Later I had a chat with him and he put his performance down to taking it easy, but also using a mix that gave him his calories in water so all he had to do was drink his water mix and he got fed. Maybe that's the answer... I'll try it on my next experiment. On my next tiger. Turns out he has also just started importing the stuff - Tailwind!
That's what I had on Saturday morning, I grabbed a tiger by the tail and didn't realise until it turned around and beat me up a bit. By then it was too late and all the plans and hours of training and time spent organising and sorting things was gone. all done and dusted in a little over 10 hours. I wish I could have another go right away. And get right the things I got wrong on the day.
My feed bottle got clogged at the start with perpetuem mix, in the past this has happened but the shaking of the running clears it up and mixes it all. This time it didn't and I had to stop before we really got out of Teralba and fix it. I met Andy Hewat and Bill Johnson here, both veterans, Andy has raced the GNW100 8 times for 8 finishes! Bill is a character, he has run 26 100 Milers, he has been known to carry a stove and cook himself up a feed on the way! Although I don't normally run with someone I thought in this case I would make good sense and they were both running slow enough for me, walking quite a bit at the back of the race. Perfect and a good pace to start on.
The race is tough and there are steep climbs right after crossing the highway. The weather was overcast but surprisingly muggy. We walked jogged and things were good. I felt good, I decided it was fate that had put the perp. in my bottle and slowed me to meet up with the most prolific finishers in the game. What could go wrong from here. I wondered why Andy didn't have a crowd of smart runners following him and piggy backing off his experience. Bill dropped back a bit but Andy and I ran on and chatted. My maps were all good, Andy knew the course well but I followed it on the maps and the markings and points I had set all worked out, turns right places, distances, so I knew it would be accurate and trustworthy come the night. I felt comfortable that I could rely on them.
The cloud cleared and we headed into a section called the jungle. Very technical, roots, rocks and streams and gulley's. Andy was using poles and he moved surprisingly quickly, I kept up, and here, looking back, I should have slowed. We went through the jungle, passing a lot of people, made up a lot of time. I finally let Andy go on a hill called 'Hugging Post Hill' there is a sort of fence rail halfway up and it did get a lot of hugs from knackered runners.
The weather cleared further and it was now hot. Not sure of the time but most likely around 11am. Made it into CP 1 and still felt good. Saw Andy leaving as I entered. Drank my coke, and sorted my gear, dropped a map off and picked up a couple from the drop bag, all planned and organised. Fresh bottle of perp. put extra water as I had heard how bad this leg could get, . Was off pretty quick. Heard one guy moaning about pulling out now and how there was no point going on to the next CP. The negative energy was almost palpable so I was glad to be moving again.
Met a guy at a turn who had stopped. He said he was going to go back to CP1 I said he should just go to CP2 and see how he feels then. I should have let him go back as CP 1 was only about 5K. Anyway I was now hot. I had got my buff out at CP1 and wetted that and it was working well cooling me. The wind was hot too, gusty and dry. I took it easy. Bill passed me. I Cut back on the food as I figured in the heat the calories wouldn't get absorbed and I would get upset stomach. I counted back and realised I had not eaten too much at all. Drank two bottles of perp. which is about 4 hours of fuel, had a bar which was heavy and not too pleasant and had a Pocket Fuel which was also not very nice. I decided that when I got to CP2 I would have to make a fresh start and get organised.
I was now walking and really feeling the heat. The trail is not hard here, mostly forest road along a high ridge with a few up and down bits. It is deceptively easy. People started picking me off but that was OK I knew I needed to keep it slow. I had 45 mins in hand from last CP. I was now drinking a lot, taking gulps on the tube until the hot water from the tube runs out and you get cold mouthfuls from the bladder. I used some to wet my buff again. Whenever the breeze blew I took my hat off and tried to get a bit of cooler air onto my head, but it was all hot.
Passed a guy cramping up and had nothing to offer him, further up one of the girls running helped a guy out with a stop cramp spray. The got ahead of me but later I passed them sitting on a log. Coming down into Congewai Valley I actually started to feel good. Got a run on and enjoyed the decent on soft grassy trails through fields with puzzled looking cows on. I passed a sign that said water 150m, thought about going there but it was too far. A guy sitting on the grass below the sign said it wasn't far to CP2 now. I had nothing to help him with his cramps either...
The trail comes out on Congewai Road. It is dusty undulating and horrible. It should only be 5 K, but it goes on for ever. The heat doubles or triples and my water runs out. I drink the last of my hot coffee perp. My cool neck buff has dried out, the wind dries my throat. I try chewing some lollies and they just stick so I spit them out. I'm walking and I'm slow, but no one passes me anymore and no one ahead gets any closer. Each hill see's the road stretching away, specks of other runners let me know exactly how far it is just to reach where they are, a corner brings the same, and the same, and the heat hammers. This is what everyone mentioned, what they all talk about, the furnace at Congewai. I knew it was coming but I didn't know it would be like this... I pass a guy who has taken his pack off and slung it over one shoulder. He is sick and chucking. I tell him I'll let them know he is here at CP2, another runner is sitting in the shade under a tree playing with his phone. He says he's right. I wave politely at the support cars that run up and down the road and send clouds of dust over me.
The headwind gusts - it feels like putting your face in front of a hairdryer and breathing it in. I stop and put my hands on my knees and look at the dust in front of my feet. The flies force me to start moving again. I want CP 2 to arrive but it won't, I can't figure out how far it should be as I have already clocked 5K on my watch. There is a turn around where runners from CP2 are heading out passed us and off onto another trail. Not far they say, couple of K's how can it be a couple? I see Andy and he is eating a tin of creamed rice. I don't know what I say but he knows I'm not in real good shape. I'll take stock if I ever see CP2.
CP 2. They weigh me here and then I go and sit down, feeing sick. I get cold coke and it is beautiful, I drink more and more. Drink the warm coke out of my drop bag and the red bull and more coke. There are people collapsed everywhere, one of the gun runners is back after getting a lift from halfway to CP 3, he shot. The CP captain says I have lost 4KG and am borderline with regards to the percentage of bodyweight I have lost (I think it is 5% or over and they pull you out, later I heard that so many runners were coming in with weight lost that 4kg was about the norm, some lost up to 7kg!). He asks how I feel and I'm not real good. Anyway to cut a long story short. I pull out here. After weighing myself before I leave the CP I have already put back 2KG in coke!
I know I would have only continued to deteriorate if I had continued... But a couple of hours after I am already wondering and thinking if I could have gone on, did I pull too soon? No I think not. I was barely able to stand when I arrived, and I have to hang onto that as otherwise I will convince myself it wasn't too bad and in time I will see this as a failure. I was not well enough to continue at that point in time. Simple and that is it.
I slept the night at Patonga at the finish. Freezing cold and windy and wet. Everything I was praying for earlier and didn't get I now got. And where I had been frying I was now freezing! I wore everything I had two Sloppy-Joe's, two jackets from the finish bag, waterproof pants, socks, shoes. I decided this was my punishment for pulling the pin.
The day arrived and CP crew set everything up (A quick note that the staff and crew from the race were all fantastic, any runner who has done an ultra knows what I mean. They do so much it is hard to put it all into words to thank them.) Around about 7 am the winner, Greg Markey, arrived. There were only a handful of us there, but they rang the bell as he was sighted and his wife and daughter who had been supporting him through the night of rain ad wind ran with him on the beach. He kissed the post and everyone had a tear in their eye. It almost made up for dropping - its not often you get to see the winner of a 100 mile monster arrive! Its not often I am at the pointy end of a race (not ever!)He was in amazingly good shape, fresh, lucid and very obviously happy.
Later I had a chat with him and he put his performance down to taking it easy, but also using a mix that gave him his calories in water so all he had to do was drink his water mix and he got fed. Maybe that's the answer... I'll try it on my next experiment. On my next tiger. Turns out he has also just started importing the stuff - Tailwind!
Wednesday 6 November 2013
Keeping it Simple
first post for the new blog so I am keeping it simple. I have a lot of other stuff I was going to add to this blog, but its all past history now and I think its best to start off with current events. I wrote a bit about the TNF 100 in may and also the Narrabeen all Nighter 12 hr. race in Jan, but the race coming up is the one to focus on and that is the GNW 100 the day after tomorrow! First hundred miler so I have Googled everything I can about first 100 Milers and preparation and training and diet and mental approach and what to do and what not to do and tips and hints and pictures and races and now I have nothing left to do except write this blog and count down the hours until I get to run...
I am hoping that this might be useful to other runners out there, I have certainly found a lot of good info on other blogs... Even though I am pretty inexperienced at this Ultra running - I might throw out something that someone else might pick up and that little nugget of information might make the all the difference in one of their races. If I don't throw out any nuggets then at least it will help me to write down my thoughts and things regarding races and training and that is certainly a help. To have a record to look back on and see where the mistakes were made and or where things went right. I know with the TNF 100 there were a couple of critical moments where I made the right choice and without realising this most likely affected the outcome of the overall race. One in particular was not changing shoes at the 65K mark - and also at the same point deciding to wear a warm top. Both I think helped e finish.
I have trained well I think, perhaps not enough as I would like, but enough. I always feel under prepared before a race... Thinking and second guessing myself and wondering if I should have done more. My taper has really been a full stop as I have had a niggle in my right ankle and I wanted to get that right before the start. No running since Saturday. That makes me wonder even more. The forecast is wet, Sat around the 30 degrees mark with a change coming overnight to drop the temps down on Sunday to around 22 degrees. Friday is going to be 38! So hope they have got their timing right, also means I will have to take warm gear for the finish.
The logistics are a bit tricky as it is a point to point race and I am running unsupported so whatever I take to the hotel on Friday has got to be transported to the finish on Sunday. That means minimal, but also suitable to wear in 38 sunny degrees and in 22 wet degrees.
first post for the new blog so I am keeping it simple. I have a lot of other stuff I was going to add to this blog, but its all past history now and I think its best to start off with current events. I wrote a bit about the TNF 100 in may and also the Narrabeen all Nighter 12 hr. race in Jan, but the race coming up is the one to focus on and that is the GNW 100 the day after tomorrow! First hundred miler so I have Googled everything I can about first 100 Milers and preparation and training and diet and mental approach and what to do and what not to do and tips and hints and pictures and races and now I have nothing left to do except write this blog and count down the hours until I get to run...
I am hoping that this might be useful to other runners out there, I have certainly found a lot of good info on other blogs... Even though I am pretty inexperienced at this Ultra running - I might throw out something that someone else might pick up and that little nugget of information might make the all the difference in one of their races. If I don't throw out any nuggets then at least it will help me to write down my thoughts and things regarding races and training and that is certainly a help. To have a record to look back on and see where the mistakes were made and or where things went right. I know with the TNF 100 there were a couple of critical moments where I made the right choice and without realising this most likely affected the outcome of the overall race. One in particular was not changing shoes at the 65K mark - and also at the same point deciding to wear a warm top. Both I think helped e finish.
I have trained well I think, perhaps not enough as I would like, but enough. I always feel under prepared before a race... Thinking and second guessing myself and wondering if I should have done more. My taper has really been a full stop as I have had a niggle in my right ankle and I wanted to get that right before the start. No running since Saturday. That makes me wonder even more. The forecast is wet, Sat around the 30 degrees mark with a change coming overnight to drop the temps down on Sunday to around 22 degrees. Friday is going to be 38! So hope they have got their timing right, also means I will have to take warm gear for the finish.
The logistics are a bit tricky as it is a point to point race and I am running unsupported so whatever I take to the hotel on Friday has got to be transported to the finish on Sunday. That means minimal, but also suitable to wear in 38 sunny degrees and in 22 wet degrees.
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